Ugh!!!

So tomorrow I'm flying to Utah to visit family. I got off work at 2pm so that I'd have time to get everything packed and ready to go. Well Rory decided she wanted to be whiny all day and so I was able to get almost nothing done. I washed some clothes but here it is at 10pm and I still have nothing packed. I was trying to get the kids ready for bed at a decent hour but Michael was taking his sweet time to eat (like he always does). I told him we were taking a bath now and he kept ignoring me saying "no mama no bath!" so I finally just gave one to Rory while giving him several warnings that he needed to take one now. When it came time to get to bed, he freaked out saying "What about BATH?!!!" I told him no bath time was over and he missed it. He didn't want me to wrap him up because now his routine was messed up. He started crying and fighting me. James came over and yelled at him, tearing his leappad away from him. Part of Michael's routine is turning off his leappad himself. So this really made him freak out. I decided to grab him and wrap him in the blanket and just go rock. After about 20 minutes of him screaming and kicking, he finally calmed down. Of course, Rory was still tired and whiny and following us around. So I'm trying to take care of TWO crying children with not enough arms. I was really getting frustrated. So once Michael was calm enough, I asked him if he wanted to read his book. I knew he'd freak if I tried to put him down without reading it. He told me to get the monster book but then once I got it out he would say "no mama put away monster book!" Right as I put it away he'd cry and tell me to get the monster book! He started throwing the book so I stuck him in his crib to let him know if he did that we wouldn't read the book at all. After a minute or so I took him out and we sat down. He started up with the "Read the monster book! No put away monster book" crap for probably another 10 minutes. FINALLY he let me start reading.We normally read it 3x and then he takes the book to bed with him. We read 2x like normal but then the 3rd time all of a sudden on the 2nd page he starts yelling "MAMA!!" every time I'd try to read a word. But he wouldn't let me start up or put it away or do ANYTHING. This went on for another 5-10 minutes. Finally I just decided to read it and let him freak out while I was doing so. At least he'd probably be ok because we finished it like we are supposed to. It seemed to be working until the end when I hand him the book, he tossed it on the ground. He was mad that he did that and started crying. I put him in his crib and he stood up and cried. I was so frustrated at this point because Rory is also standing there crying her head off too. So I threw the book into the crib and didn't even kiss him goodnight. :( Normally I give him lots of butterfly and regular kisses. I left him screaming in his crib. But at this point I was ready to go punch walls. And the second I come out of the room, James says a snarky response of "I wondered when you were going to just let him do his thing". Because apparently leaving him to cry is "his thing". This was the last thing I needed to hear right after 45-50 minutes of fighting with Michael. I just wanted to throw everyone in this house against the wall right then. Then I tried to put Rory to bed and of course she isn't having any of it. So here we are at 10pm and she is still awake watching Signing Time. The airport at 5am is going to be a blast with a baby that got less than 7 hours of sleep. Can this day end already?

Back and Forth Conversation

He was doing SO WELL tonight!! :)

Jewel Train

A couple of weeks ago we bought Michael a LeapPad. He is OBSESSED with the thing. It's actually designed for 4-9 year olds but he still loves it. There is a game called Jewel Train that you basically have to figure out a puzzle of tracks to allow the train to get to the bank while collecting a few jewels. He caught on to it right away without me even explaining what to do. Version 1 had 25 levels which he learned to beat in a couple days. I bought version 2 last night which had 30 more levels and he beat the entire thing in about an hour. This video is of him doing this particular level for the first time! He amazes me how he can visualize it so easily and how quickly he completes the level!

The stink eye

So yesterday we decided to go out to dinner as a family. Michael was doing great until he was trying to eat his mac and cheese and it was falling off his fork. Once he gets frustrated like that, things go downhill. He started to smack the bowl really hard with the fork and spoon so I had to take them away. This caused him to start screaming "NO WAY MAMA! NO NO NO NO NO WAY!!!!! AHHHHHHHH!" Can you say all eyes on us? There was a lady sitting in the booth behind us that James said was giving him the stink eye. She had a little infant with her so you'd think she might be a little more understanding but nope. I'm learning to ignore others somewhat - but it's still a pretty hard thing for James to do. The stress level that we felt just by doing something so simple was enough to pretty much ruin our night.

Tacoma Public Schools - you are not impressing me!!

Well Michael had his preschool screening in I think it was early June. They wanted him to come back for a full evaluation on 09/15. I thought that seemed really late in the year but just left it at that. I thought between then and now I'd have received some info from the district in the mail or something. But here we are, almost the end of August and I've heard absolutely ZERO about the preschool! This makes it kind of hard to figure out my schedule and childcare if I don't know the days or hours he is attending! The only thing they gave me was a card that had our appointment date on it and a phone number to call. I called yesterday and it said they were out for the summer until today. So I called today and the lady was like "Oh let me think, it's my first day back so I'm not really thinking straight"

So she told me that "if" he qualifies (which he has to since he has a diagnosis now!) then he'd most likely be in the special ed preschool in the mornings 2 days a week from 9:30-12:00. But they also have a special autism class that he "might" qualify for (even though he was dx with an ASD apparently that doesn't automatically qualify you???) which is 5 days a week from 9-1:30.

She also told me that school starts on Sept 7th and since his eval isn't until 09/15 that he wouldn't be starting until probably early October!! WTF?! So can somebody please explain to me why he was scheduled so late for an eval if school starts the week BEFORE? It's not like this appointment was made a week ago.

I also still have no information about the special ed bus that will pick him up. I'm assuming I can tell them to pick him up/drop him off at another location w/in Tacoma other than my home but I have no idea. Because again, I know NOTHING!

I happy

So I was sitting there on the couch when all of a sudden Michael said "Hey mama, I happy!" Then he made this ridiculously cheesy grin for like a minute. I tried to get him to do it again on this video. Cracked me up and warmed my heart all in one!

Dads and Autism

I have so much I want to say about this but I can't really form coherent words right now. James said some things yesterday that really broke my heart so I will just leave you with these articles.

ARTICLE 1

ARTICLE 2

Slowly but surely!

The past couple weeks something very amazing has been happening! Rather than Michael's super negative response to EVERYTHING, he is now starting to make some positive (yes) answers to questions! You have no idea how refreshing this is. After 100 (million) "NO WAY MAMA"s you get a little burnt out!

Michael was sick and vomiting all over (seriously ALL OVER) on Monday and when I asked him if he felt sick he responded with "Yeah, I feel sick" It seems like since then the positive responses have been multiplying.

Even today when I was singing along to a game he was playing, he normally will say "NO WAY MAMA, DON'T SINGING!" but instead he said "Good singing mama, good singing!" Also we went to visit some friends and family today for a picnic and he ran up and greeted those he knew and gave them hugs! :)

This makes this mama very happy!

It's 3:30 am

I was just up for a minute because I was hot and thirsty. I decided to hop on my mommy forum and read for a second.

I came across a thread about kids asking the same questions over and over again, driving their parents crazy and it just made me want to cry. I WISH I could have him ask me questions like that. I'm sure there are plenty of things I take for granted about my kiddos too but this one just stung for me right now. :(

MY RECTANGLES!

I had a sitter over today while I was working. When I came down for break, I decided to get myself a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats. When Michael saw them, he wanted some too. Easy enough, right? Yeah, not for this child. Nothing is ever that easy. You can't just get a bowl and pour some for him. It's always more complicated than that. So I go to get a bowl and he immediately starts freaking out at me. "No mama no bowl! Put it in the door!" So I put it away... "No mama MY bowl!!" I get it out "No way put it away!!!" Arrrrg so I just decide to try and give him some cereal. "No mama MY rectangles!" You want some cereal? "NO MY RECTANGLES!" Do you need some rectangles? "NO MAMA THOSE ARE RECTANGLES!!" Okay do you want to reach in and get some rectangles yourself? "No mama I need rectangles!!!" So by this point I'm pretty much tearing my hair out. I move to the toddler table to pour some in a bowl that is already there "No mama put it the counter!!" I put it on the counter "No way mama MY RECTANGLES!" ARRRG okay already child just take some freaking cereal! FINALLY I went over and poured some in the bowl that was at the toddler table and he accepted them and started to eat them. But this was almost 20 minutes later and after much crying and freaking out.

Story of my life right there. Every day. EXHAUSTING!

Through His Eyes

Sometimes I wonder how he views the world. Everything is always so exact and balanced. Most kids would see a play kitchen and pretend to cook or eat the treats. Instead he sees this:

"Nothing"

So something that would mean nothing to most people meant a lot to me today. It was actually such a breakthrough that I have to write about it.

Today Michael was getting into this cupboard in the toy room and trying to pull out some toys. I don't normally let him in there himself and he knows that. I went in there and said "Michael what are you doing?" He turned to me and stared at me and said "Nothing!"

My child LIED to me today!!! Normally most parents try to teach their kid not to lie. But in the case of Michael he normally doesn't have the understanding to respond with a lie. So for him to do that was HUGE! I just sat there stunned for a second when he did it!

DSM-5

So I was looking at the new DSM-5 criteria that will go into effect in 2013. CLICK HERE FOR LINK According to the proposed changes, Michael will meet the criteria and be considered to have Autism. From there they are marked with a severity level of 1, 2 or 3 (3 being the most severe). It will be interesting to see what severity he is diagnosed with in a couple of years. I am kind of glad they are changing the diagnostic criteria as a dx of PDD-NOS is very vague and I think it does need to be a little more specific.

Autism Research Institute Results

So I sent off the evaluation form from the link that is on my Autism Resources tab on my blog here. They were pretty quick to get back to me. I actually got a response back about a week from when I sent it.

He came back with a total score of +6. The way it ranges is from -45 (lowest) to +45 (highest). They broke it down to:

-Classical early infantile autism (Kanner's Syndrome): Children who score +20 or higher on the form are typically diagnosed as having classical autism.

- Autistic: The average score for a child falling to this category is -2. This score corresponds to a child diagnosed as having ASD by many professionals. Children who score -15 to +19 are typically regarded as "autistic" and the majority of children diagnosed as autistic fall w/in this category. This is where Michael's score fell.

- Autistic-like: Children who score -16 or lower are generally not regarded as truly autistic; but instead, they are often described as "autistic-like," "has many characteristics," etc.

Teaching Him Addition!

Michael is so obsessed with numbers. He's been carting around a calculator for a while now so we decided to teach him addition. He already has the early concepts down. The other day I had 2 pieces of food in one hand and 2 in the other. I had my hands split and said "How many are in this hand?" and he answered 2. Then I held out the other hand and asked him. He again answered 2. Then I pulled my hands together and said "Ok how many are there together?" He answered 4 (without counting them individually!)!

So we decided we are going to teach him how to do addition. He is doing awesome at it so far! :) What a smarty pants!