Sunday, May 20, 2012
Sometimes I get sad
As my baby girl, Rory, is getting bigger, she is now surpassing her brother in terms of conversation and communication. She is now 28 months old, the same age Michael was when he first called me "nana" (mama). It's amazing the difference in their speech. She can tell me full sentences, which are not echoic at all in nature. She makes up silly things all the time. I am amazed just watching her. But all of this also makes me sad. It makes me sad that I feel like I'm waiting for that to begin with Michael. He is now speaking in a lot more novel speech, but it's not the same. You don't really have full conversations with him. You have to drive 90% of what he says. It's not that I don't love him for who he is, it's that I get sad because it feels like I can't know all of who is inside him. He has things inside I can tell he wants to let out and just doesn't know how. I see him struggle with it daily, and it breaks my heart.